When a loved one dies why do the living treat each other so wrongly? One friend survived a car crash that killed her husband. She was severely injured, her camera was stolen with their last photos together on it, and her daughter has cut her off from her grandkids. She's been alone since the accident. Another friend learned she might have to take care of her ex husband's body. His latest wife wants as little to do with things as possible. She'd rather have the cash instead of spending it on a dead man she was separated from. Celebrity deaths always create havoc in the survivors. It is stupid, pointless, and only causes more pain.
I understand grief makes people react in many different ways. I get this, really truly. I guess I don't understand why some would choose the baser emotions. Anger at God, yes, but anger at mom for living instead of dying? For greed holding onto cash that should be used elsewhere? Envy for others getting what you think is yours in the will? It is silly.
Make plans for this. Find out if burial or cremation is what you want. WRITE it down and make sure people know where it is. People say they don't care, but really, many of them do. Put a will together, learn where things like shut off valves for water might be, and find out how the bills are paid. I am writing from a female spouse point of view, but I am sure men have similar things to deal with.
As you cultivate your garden of life, plan for the winter season when everything appears to be dead. You may not be there, but your essence will. You will live on in others, let them take care of your shell. Peacefully. Don't let your death be the wasps in the garden.