'I kiss better than I cook.' --this one might be right in the middle. I like cooking, but I'm not sure I'm really stellar at it. I also love kissing, but am not entirely sure I'm stellar at that either1
"Many have eaten here...few have died."--Maybe if I hung lace in the windows? Old lace?
"Many people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to lead healthy, natural lives."--Now this one might be worth hanging! Especially when I add peas to the dinner (Bear detests peas unless raw).
"Keep my kitchen clean, and no one has to die."--I rather like this one, too. I know my kitchen isn't up to food service rules clean, but it is not bad. My counters are ususally clear and always clean, as is my stove top and sink. (unless I am using those places, then I clean later!)
"Wash your hands and say your prayers, cuz Jesus and germs are everywhere."--This one is startling. Is Jesus a germ? Do we wash Jesus away? No, not going in my kitchen!
"Measure, Mix, Bake, Sprinkle."-I liked this one. It fits me! I might ask the kid to make this for me burned in wood.