Yet, there is much more that needs worked on. It is a part of life to grow and become something else. The chrysalis I wrote about in blogstuff is empty and my wings are almost dry. I don't know where I'll fly or what breeze I'll use, but I'm gonna get there. The tide is high, the road is empty, and I have a whole world to explore. I can do this with the skills I've learned from others and myself.
I am often afraid and scared and lonely. But, you know, as much as I think I need people, they aren't that important. I know how to find them (one of my good friends told me that today) and if I want them, they'll be there. I cannot keep holding onto things that have moved beyond me. No matter how much I want to keep them. Those pants I can't wear cuz I'm too fat, the skirt I love which is entirely too small, and those friends I adore who don't need me anymore. I need to let them go and let them escape to their own destinies. If they want me, they know where to find me and I'll be there.
There was a great sitcom in the 70's with a theme song that cries out to me. There are a couple of versions, the TV one and then Joan Jett made a much faster moving one. Some of the lines are, "But, it's time you started living, it's time you let someone else do some giving..' I've been surrounded by givers as I have wallowed in wanting.
Yeah, I'd love cuddled or even more. I was given that once upon a time. It was absolutely lovely, yet I need to let go of those dreams and start living in newer ones. It has been a long time since I have felt this way, but at this moment, you know what?? "I think I'm gonna make it after all!"