When necessary, any lap is an osasis. A place to be safe in and a place to look out on the world from a different point of view. Laps can be actual folded legs, they can be enfolding arms, or even found in the hands of a friend holding a face. Enjoy them while you can!
It is the day after Christmas and all through the house, echoes of the past are heard under the oxygen machine. OK, that didn't rhyme, but it is true. Mum had a busy day on the 25th and is resting today. For the most part. She's coffing a hollow coff, she has a headache, and her chest hurts. Her doctor told her she'd have symptoms like this. He said she has been through a lot and it will take time for her body to get back on track. I think her doctor is a fruitcake with too many candied cherries, but she loves him. Her hands are shaking constantly. She can't concentrate on projects she insists she needs to finish. Her eyes hurt.
Her oldest grand got an afgahn mom finished. She made a scarf I might give to Strider. Bear, I am hoping to give a headband to. It will be comforting for them to have something mom made in these last days. Because, I do see her in those. It may be horrid of me to think this, but I do. Every day, she is a little weaker and a bit more tired. In spite of what she tries to portray.
I could be wrong. I am often wrong. Only time will tell for sure.
Coming back to Alaska was a blessing. A hard blessing. Over the course of a month, mum was put in the hospital and brought back to the Peninsula again. She's very sick. She looks good, her color is mostly good, her stats are good, and she is eating everything. Yet, she often holds her head in pain, she is on full time oxygen, she is melting away, and her tumor marker has jumped like a class of kindergardeners on 100 day.
It has been a long time since my last post, but this is why. I've been a full time caregiver for mom. I stayed with her in the hospital and I am with her now. I don't know how long I'll stay. We are walking one day at a time. Doris and I are tight. What will be, will be.
I grew up in Alaska, went to college in Portland, OR and ended up on the coast for 17 years before moving East. Am interested in many different things and am looking forward to sharing them with you!