I had to have a CAT scan today. I wasn't looking forward to it. I've only had MRI's, and was warned I would most likely need a dye injected into my blood. Which meant, needles. As anyone who has read much of this blog or anyone who knows me is aware of, I cannot stand needles. Not the dinky insulin syringes, the huge sharp ones used to inject immunizations and stuff or the ones that withdraw blood. I try not to stress about it visibly, relaxed bodies that are entirely hydrated are the best ones to poke. Yet, Wonderland is so tangible at certain times during these experiences. The whole rigmarole drives me nuts and I've been told it is all in my head and if I had more faith it would be easier. PIFFLE! My veins are just weenies.
Today was no exception to the weenie blood from turnip/rock rule. I was the first appointment and probably made them late the rest of the day. The incredibly nice tech, M, was a total stranger to me. I was probably just another patient (not sure he'll forget me in a hurry!) waiting for a short procedure. Yet, M took all the vein trouble in stride and embraced me in concern, warmth, and care. After his attempt, he brought in someone else, who brought in someone else. The last one was able to plunge their way to a working conduit and the test could finally continue. It was silly how short the 'rest of the story' took!
M was gentle, amusing, and never made me feel alone or stupid or lost. M even brought me back from Wonderland more than once, holding my lax hand as a lifeline to the real world. While I was recovering from this latest adventure, I remembered how people remind me of things. I sat in the sunshine inside my car thinking about M and his compassion and I knew. Forever, this memory will remind me of honey. There is a comfort in the taste and scent of honey and in the warmth of honey's amber color.
I sent M a thank you note. It was the least I could do for a person who wears grace so well.