I been told feelings are of ourselves. We need to focus more on others and especially on God to show us where we need to be. Because I feel hollow, God can fill that. I am not sure if I've posted this before, I do a lot of writing and may have somewhere. However, am gonna say it again. I have volunteered and given of myself in so many areas for so many years, but perhaps that wasn't what I was supposed to do. I don't have a niche anymore, I don't belong anywhere, and I'm empty. I stay at home and do chores. Sometimes I do things outside the house, but they don't take long. Chores don't take long either.
February starts with my birthday and ends with my niece's birthday. Ground Hog's Day is great fun (and also a classic movie!) and my second anniversary is in this month. (I was married in Dec and then we were married again in Feb) There is a lot to be joyful about. This year seems colder. (and I'm not even on the East Coast!)
I've given and received. Yet, I am still tired and empty. It is hard to believe in oneself when you rarely hear you are doing something right (I am thanked for dinner and the lunches I make). Even if you hear it from friends online, it isn't enough. They really don't know me. No one does. It is kind of funny.
"She keeps telling me she is happy here. I don't think she's lying. But, I'm not sure happiness is what matters. It's a luxury, happiness. It's something like a falling leaf or a certain shape in a cloud. It lands. It changes. It can't last." Wonder Show