This morning I thought to myself, “I wonder if The Craftsman could ever look at me and tell me I’m pretty or beautiful or even sexy, again.” Then, I looked in the mirrors I had just cleaned and laughed and laughed. What an absolute fruitcake I am to desire something so uncharacteristic. I wondered what he’d say if I asked him to tell me I was beautiful. Shudder! I’d hate to be rebuffed point blank. Maybe if I had chrome or was a collectible.. Besides, asking for something like that is kind of a cheap trick. If I am going to go fishing, I’d rather catch halibut. Those are a ton of work, but a dinner is attached.
I’ve read so many articles on how being beautiful on the outside isn’t important. But.it.is. Women’s products wouldn’t be such a big seller if beauty wasn’t a priority. Beauty has been a thing since before King Solomon. I’ve had a few people tell me I was sexy, even beautiful, and sometimes that I look pretty ‘today’. I appreciate those comments immensely. Those people don’t live with me, though. They like me because I provide a fairly safe escape. And often it is just something to say. I am sure some are genuine and the persons are always incredibly sweet. I have many more who assist me in my appearance. Either I am fat (implied or said), old fashioned in styles of clothes and hair and glasses, and even uncaring about what I look like. Sometimes it helps me realise I need to get my buns in gear and work on riding myself of said buns. Usually, it makes me a little bit sad. I don’t like spending money on trying to make myself pretty. I’m not sure it would take and The Craftsman works very hard for the funds we have. Besides, much of it is used to keep me alive. Which is more important, I suppose, than being beautiful.
Being awakened in my soul, my sexuality, and opening me up to new adventures has been a lot of fun. It is time to grow up now. I am a very useful person and a good V.U.P. should not be concerned with getting adventures too often. (maybe a FEW!!!) Nor should a V.U.P. want more words than given. Verbiage gets in the way of reality. Reality is getting a heart shaped sticky note from The Craftsman with the words ‘I really do miss you.’ (First snail mail message in 10 months of being gone--3 ‘summers’!!!!) Or a bouquet of Safeway sweet mini carnations on my birthday. Reality isn’t feelings and adventures and being told I’m beautiful.