Mom is sick again. I am not surprised, but I hate it. I hate it because it is hard for me to live in her over stuffed house and remember what it was like when daddy was alive. I hate it because I can't help mom do the many things that need done until she ASKS for my help. I hate it because I think, this time, we are running out of time. Mum has a tendency (I have this trait also) to put off what she would rather not do. It sucks. There are things she NEEDS to do, needs to do in ways that they are so important that I don't know if we can do them when she is gone.
I saw 'we', but it will be me. My little sister is NOT much help. And being around mom so much has made her unhappy with me also. Today, she almost stopped in the road to let me get out of the car because I didn't agree with her. I've done that with my oldest son, so immature! I need to keep biting my tongue and be grateful she is here. The things she needs to do..well, I cannot even scribe them, but the hole is deep and every year it gets deeper. Strider is sending me cash. I think I am going to need it desperately and not for what he thinks I should use it for.
I miss my family, but not as dearly as you might think. I wish The Craftsman was here to help me with projects. However, those projects can't get done til other things are done first. I feel so damn useless and in the way. But, I have to smile and put on that Facebook happy day personae.
One day at a time...that is all I can do. That is all anyone can.